November 4, 2011 4

Placing the blame

By in Rochester

While waiting for a photo subject this morning, I stood around with a crossing guard who struck up a conversation. Adele (her name’s been changed) asked “Are you voting next week?” I said “yes” and returned the question, to which she very resentfully said “no.”

Me: Why not?
Adele: It doesn’t matter if I do. They’ll keep Maggie there no matter what.
Me: Maggie… Brooks?
Adele: Yes. Her. (She spits on the sidewalk)
Me: I take it you don’t like her.
Adele: It doesn’t matter if I do. They’ll keep her. She’s terrible.
Me: They’ll only keep her if people vote for her. You should vote!
Adele: Pffft. It doesn’t matter. They’ll keep her.
Me: Are you sure? I’m pretty sure it’s a ‘majority-rule’ sort of deal. They can’t keep her if she’s voted out.
Adele: Boy, what sort of world are you living in?

* * * * * * * *

Adele: Where do you buy your bread?
Me: Uhh, mostly at Wegmans.
Adele: Why?! It’s so expensive!
Me: I don’t think between $1 and $2 for a loaf of sandwich bread is too bad.
Adele: I’m the cheapest person in Rochester. I won’t spend more than 88 cents on bread now that they tax it.
Me: I’m pretty sure they don’t tax bread.
Adele: Oh they do! They just started!
Me: Oh yeah? Aren’t all essential grocery items supposed to be tax-free?
Adele: They’re not! I can’t buy my Snickers, my bottled water, or my pot anymore without paying tax.
Me: Wait, you’re paying tax on your pot?
Adele: Yeah, just started this week.
Me: I had no idea.
Adele: Goddamn Maggie.

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4 Responses to “Placing the blame”

  1. Katie says:

    My responses are in order of importance:
    (1) That is one angry and ill-informed crossing guard.
    (2) They should totally legalize and then tax pot.
    (3) Goddamn Maggie.

  2. Kevin says:

    Hey, we got Bush despite a majority of votes. She’s not that far off. And yes, there is such thing as a tax on pot. It’s more of a colloquial term for the markup that one pays when buying in small quantities from a person who buys in large quantities.
    Maybe she was misspoken, but here is the “151 taxes on a loaf of bread” that has made it into the public consciousness:

    Perhaps it is YOU that is ill-informed, gentlesir and ladypersons. And I am willing to bet that it is Maggie who is brainwashing all of you. With subliminal television ads. And rectal probes. Damn Maggie.

  3. Matt says:

    Katie: I’m with ya.

    Kevin: Good points! I do not claim to have all the facts on these (or many) topics. Could I perhaps say that this has been good FOOD FOR THOUGHT?! Wakka wakka! (Also if we could never speak of ‘Maggie’ and ‘rectal probes’ in the same sentence again, that’d be great)

  4. THP says:

    words cannot describe how hard I just laughed.

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